In this article and video we are going to discuss a taboo topic: sex! And the compulsion and addiction for sex addiction and sexual instant gratification.
Sex was and is taboo in so many countries. At my family it was a topic that we could never discuss. It was dirty and was absolute forbidden to talk about. However, you cannot suppress sex, you still express it but in secret.
Now what is instant gratification?
- To feel good for a short time.
- It is instant.
- It lasts maybe a second or a minute.
If you’re truly happy with having lots of different sexual encounters, and it truly inspires you and makes you feel good long term. Thats great, good for you. This video is not for you then.
But if you think and feel after every time: I didn’t get enough. I actually feel depleted or empty, or even more lonely and sick even, then this video is for you.
The thing with every instant gratification is that it feels good for just a short time. What are some signs of sexual gratification?
- You need to have group sex with multiple partners
- Being online for long periods of the day looking for hook-ups. Think of apps like Grindr, Tinder, Romeo and so many others
- You have a waiting list of shags
- You sometimes or often pay for having sex to save time
- Afterwards you feel, hmm that was ok, but I want more, let’s find the next one.
You do it, and the it’s gone. You look for the next sexual encounter, you meet up, you have some sex and after it’s gone.
It’s not about the connection and the passion, it’s just for instant gratification. A quick high, a quick “pleasure.” but think about it, is it really pleasure?
There are many ways you can deal with this issue. And again, if you don’t think you have an issue and it doesn’t bother you, this is probably not for you. And here are 3 tips.
You are engaging in this sexual instant gratification, because you have linked more benefits Than drawbacks, more advantages Than disadvantages. It’s a strategy you created to get so many benefits. And I apllaud you for that. You are really smart to satisfy to many needs with just looking for and having sex. Great!
I’m not judging you, because by me judging you, you just gonna do it more.
Society is based on punishment. To make you feel guilty and shameful about certain actions that are not accepted by society. While in fact, society still does it, but it’s hidden and sometimes not so hidden.
Realise that you are getting benefits out of your sexual gratification.
Secondly, when you know the benefits that you’re getting out of it, you can look for other actions that you can do to get those same benefits.
In life, you cannot just stop or start something, its basic law. E =mc2. You cannot create for destroy your energy, it can only changes form. You have to replace something you stopped with something new and useful, that will satisfy you just as much. Otherwise you get a hole in your timetable with nothing to do.
And when you have nothing to do, guess what you do, that’s right, you look for sex again!
What are some actions that you can replace it with? Is it hanging out with new friends? Is it writing your book? Is it going on a date that doesn’t involve sex? Is it going for a massage without sex but still having that touch. Is it being intimate with yourself? Burning a candle and making your room really nice. Is it doing a meditation to transform your horniness into new pathways?
Make a list of at least 5 to 10 alternative actions, so whenever the urge arises, you have something else to do…
Now, for every action that you do, you can argue both sides equally. The same with having sex. Because you have a compulsion or addiction in sexual gratification, these sides are not in balance. You have many benefits, but you don’t see the downsides consciously, while they are still there.
Make a list of all the downsides of your compulsion and addiction toward sexual gratification.
- It costs time
- It costs money (if you need to travel or hire escorts)
- You need regular std testing
- You feel lonely afterwards
- You get into drama with the other person
- It doesn’t truly satisfy you
- It feels empty afterwards
- It costs a lot of energy, especially for men and when you ejaculate many times
I hope that this video helps you. I’m new to this topic as wel and open minded about any ideas you may have. What are your ideas around sexual gratification? Do you just ignore it? Does it truly satisfy you in the long term? Let me know below! I would love to hear from you.
Love & Wisdom,