Have you ever been judged or criticized…. harshly? And you didn’t really know how to deal with these hurtful comments? In this article & episode of Bart TV I will share with you how you can deal with harsh feedback.
Step 1: Ask yourself – Is there any merit in their judgment? Is it true?
If it’s not, let it go! I learned this from Oprah Winfrey. She gets so much criticism over her, but she always looks for ways to use it to improve herself. She told the story of Donald Trump judging her for being insecure when interviewing this guest.
She asked her staff to look back at the tape to see if she really does look insecure? Obviously Oprah wasn’t insecure, so she couldn’t use this criticism and let it go.
Step 2: If there is any merit or truth in the judgment, ask yourself, how can I use this to improve myself?
I wouldn’t even filter this against who the criticism came from. Unless you are really busy, you can get your assistant to do this process to help you come up with ways to improve yourself. My dad told me that you can learn something from everyone, even homeless people. So you don’t need to judge them when they give you useful feedback.
Step 3: If the criticism hurts you, ask yourself, will this matter 5 years from now?
You can also ask yourself: does this person have my best interest in mind? In most cases, if people have your best interest in mind they give you constructive criticism. They say something like: Thanks so much for cooking, but the fish was very salty. How about adding less salt next time? I really enjoyed your dessert tough!
When people don’t care have your best interest in mind, they just judge, with the intention to hurt you. You can’t do anything with the feedback…
You can watch a quick 12-second summary of the whole episode below –